Dr. Engr. Md. Sakawat Ali

E-mail: sakawat_ali@yahoo.com

Emotional intelligence or EI is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.

There are the four types of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a new and somewhat slippery concept. It helps to break it down into four main categories when trying to understand it. The four main sets of skills are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

 

Some good examples of high emotional intelligence are:

1) Self- awareness - they are clear of what they feel and why.

2) To gracefully accept defeat- a high EQ person is sure to let go and accept the situation as it is happily.

3) Empathy- a high EQ person is comfortable to walk in someone else's shoe. They crave understanding of others easily. And know the difference between sympathy and empathy.

4) Agree instead of Argue when there's no hope- because they understand its better to loose an argument (unless you're a lawyer) than a friend.

5) Act instead of React- They take responsibilities for their actions and usually are very positive and grateful people. They are usually "Non-complainers and non-blamer".

6) Patience- more than to wait for things its more important how one waits. High EQ people are again a calm and composed self in this situation.

7) Self-Control - They are good at managing their emotions before it bursts up like volcano. They understand human emotions are very strong and cannot be neglected and thus, they handle it swiftly.

8) Ability to deal with sarcasm humorously.

9) Social presence- they are a joy to be around be it in real world or virtual world.

 

Elements of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is divided into ‘Personal’ and ‘Social’ competences

Personal Skills or Competences

There are three areas of personal skills or competences in emotional intelligence.

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness encompasses:

• Emotional awareness
• Accurate self-assessment
• Self-confidence

Self-awareness is the skill of being aware of and understanding your emotions as they occur and as they evolve. It is wrong to think of emotions as either positive or negative. Instead, you should think of them as appropriate or inappropriate.

For example, anger is usually associated with being a negative emotion.  However, it can be a completely reasonable and appropriate emotion in certain circumstances – emotional intelligence allows us to recognize our anger and understand why this emotion has occurred.

Effective self-assessment of feelings and emotions will help to improve your confidence and self-esteem.

2. Self-regulation or Self-management

Self-regulation includes:

• Self-control
• Trustworthiness
• Conscientiousness
• Adaptability
• Innovation

Having learned to be aware of your emotions, the skill of self-regulation relates to managing them appropriately and proportionately. Self-management skills relate to the emotions you are feeling at any given time or in any given circumstance and how well you manage them. Self-control is a fundamental part of this, but other aspects relate to what you then do: whether you behave in a way which is recognized as ‘good’ or ‘virtuous’ or not.

3. Motivation

The final personal skills aspect of emotional intelligence is Motivation.

Self-motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience. Self-motivation and personal time management are key skills in this area.  Do not make unreasonable demands on yourself, learn to be assertive rather than just saying, ‘Yes’ to the demands of others.

 

Social or Interpersonal Skills or Competences

Interpersonal skills are the skills we use to interact with other people. They enable us to communicate appropriately and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Emotional intelligence includes how we understand others and their emotions, and our actions and behaviors towards them.

 

There are two key aspects.

1. Empathy

Empathy is an awareness of the needs and feelings of others both individually and in groups, and being able to see things from the point of view of others.

Empathy helps us to develop a stronger understanding of other people’s situations.

It includes understanding others, developing others, having a service orientation, leveraging diversity, and political awareness.

Empathy can often be difficult to achieve. Learn to listen effectively to both the verbal and non-verbal messages of others, including body movements, gestures and physical signs of emotion.  Use questions to find out more about other people and what they are feeling, and feedback to clarify that you have correctly understood their feelings. Acknowledge and respect the feelings of others even if you disagree, and avoid making comments or statements that are judgmental, belittling, rejecting or undermining.

2. Social Skills

Social skills encompasses a wide range of relationship and interpersonal skills. These range from leadership through to influencing and persuading, and managing conflict, as well as working in a team.

The term ‘social skills’ covers a wide variety of skills and competencies, many of which are rooted in self-esteem and personal confidence.  By developing your social skills, being easy to talk to, being a good listener, being sharing and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and attractive to others.

This in turn improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for positive personal dialogue and a greater understanding and acceptance of your own emotions.

Key Words: Emotional Intelligence